Anonymous, Jamaica

I’m from Jamaica and I’m 19 years old. I realized around the age of 12 that I was a lesbian and it was difficult because I was brought up in a Christian home with a mother and siblings who wouldn’t accept my sexuality. I decided not to disclose it to anyone and kept it to myself. I secretly dated someone who identified as bi-sexual and it was challenging because we couldn’t be affectionate in public because of homophobia in Jamaica. We ended up breaking up because she also had a boyfriend at the time and started a family with him. I eventually started a casual and secret relationship with another girl from my community. After we had sex, she disclosed it to a friend and eventually many in the community knew about the experience, including my family. They didn’t take it well and began to say many hurtful things to me. As time passed and as more in the community found out, I started receiving death threats and had to constantly look over my shoulder. I remember seeing someone else get murdered simply because they were gay. Eventually, my family started getting threatened and someone warned me that if I went to the police, they would kill my mom. Throughout all this, I still tried to protect my mom. In 2018, I was invited to a netball tournament in Toronto and I never imagined that I’d have to eventually claim refugee status because I hoped things back home would just cool down. But while I was here, I got a phone call from my sister that my younger brother was murdered on his way to a football game by the same people who were threatening me and my family. My mom has taken it very hard and has accused me, saying it’s all my fault. I have applied for refugee status and am awaiting my hearing. Being here I get more support and the people I’m staying with have accepted me for who I am.


AM I WRONG TO LOVE - NICOLE.JPG

PhotoGRAPHED by

Nicole Raquinio

Nicole is a Filipina photographer from Mississauga. Besides capturing photos of different places she's traveled to, she experiments with conceptual self-portraiture. In her downtime, she enjoys reading, dabbling in little art projects and playing fetch with her dog.

MENTOR

Ian Griffin